yahtzeen

from issue #1 of Nasty, sidebar items.

SISTERS BEWARE!!
When you hear these famous pick-up lines from Phil and Andrew:

P & A: Can I take some pictures of you?
A: Wanna help me make some tie-dyes?
P: Will you have my baby?
A: Wanna come over and watch 90210?
P: Have you seen my little black book? ‘
A: Hey, can I buy you a shot of jagermeister?
P: Wanna come over and watch “The punishment of Ann” or “Caligula?”

THE FIVE MOST DISTINGUISHABLE CHARACTERISTICS:

Andrew
hairy chest
“melodic”/lethargic speech
self-proclaimed mysticism
striking resemblance to John Lamb
his taco bell-u

Phil
chocolate milk breath
whining
perverted
his Bette Davis eyes
infatuation with Madonna

(note: for the record, I still say “the punishment of anne” is still a worthwhile movie to watch. “caligula” you could live without seeing.)

my setlist from the first (and my only) godheadSilo show.

song i recorded myself (joel lee contributes bass, i did everything else). thought i had lost it but found a copy on an old hard drive this morning. recorded sometime around 1989 give or take a year. vocals done in one shot. made up the lyrics on the spot about a girl in my grade that lived across the street named sherry. to protect her identity i changed her name to cherry.

Text via Acrobat OCR of which I did not proof so blame the mistakes on Adobe, not me.

This special edition zine has been created to commemorate those fabulous Yahtzeen boys, Phil and Andrew, and to give you the poop behind the scoop. Take a dangerous delve into the private lives of two extremely bizarre, idiosyncratic characters. Zine Gods by day, Playboys by night. Many were interviewed (mostly girls) to provide ample gossip and an interesting, highly scandalous, background on the dynamic duo. nasty cannot guarantee that all sources, outside of our own knowledge, are entirely accurate or free from embellishment. However, nasty has skillfully procured confirming photographs of the scandalous accusations. It is nasty’s duty and goal to produce and present all available dirt for your reading enjoyment. nasty takes no responsibility for hearsay or claims made by those outside of the nasty staff.

(from page 3 which is all text)

By now most of us are familiar with Yahtzeen, Phil and Andrew’s special creation. However, many do not know the history behind these men. Phil’s popular involvement with the scene started at the ripe age of about 17 with his first zine “Burnt Toast.” While it was not as high-tech as Yahtzeen, it basically covered the same territory only it was more directed towards those slam dancin’ punk rockers and interviewed local bands such as The Black Listed. Somewhere down the line Phil could no longer contain the musician within and started a band, The Mercy Beat. They played at Fargo’s hot spot The Broadway Junction, and like every rock-God, Phil made poignant speeches dealing with self-realization, coolness, and how one treats others. nasty reca~ls the powerful song about oral sex; The Sugar Shack, and Phil’s autobiographical song; Sex Machine. But most memorable is the show where Phil’s heroism saved Eric Koob from near death as a bunch of ass-hole skin heads wanted to kick his ass. This started Phil’s career as a scene leader and well-known bad ass. Every time I remember Phil singing Nancy Sinatra’s “These Boots are Made for Walkin’” my heart skips a beat. Shortly after the break up of The Mercy Beat, Jennifer’s Veil was born, producing the first collaboration between Phil and Andrew. Phil was back and badder than ever with a more sophisticated sound. It was like nothing I had ever heard or had ever hoped to hear, they rocked my bottom!! Andrew was well on his way to becoming a girl toy and scene icon. It was wonderful! I can only thank Gawd for allowing me to witness these amazing stepping stones and the progress of the now, fantastic, highly adored and fawned after zine Gods!! Unfortunately Jennifer’s Veil also broke up, most likely due to laziness and conflicting interests. One can only wonder what the world would be like today had Jennifer’s Veil continued to pursue their musical careers! Talent gone amuck! Such a shame isn’t it?! Well Phil and Andrew both stepped back from the scene for awhile, taking it easy and dating as many girls as possible, sometimes simultaneously! Well this did not appease them, for soon two other bands were formed from the members of Jennifer’s Veil. Phil had a short lived career in godheadSilo and Andrew and Joel created Dandelion Wine, rocking down the Moose Lodge. Now Phil has againn taken up journalism(?) and brought Andrew with him to create your favorite zine ever, Yahtzeen!! And to celebrate their revival we want you to join us in feeling the power, experiencing the emotion. Get nostalgic with us!! The first five people to send in a blank tape can get a free copy of The Mercy Beat!! WOW! Send a self-addressed stamped envelope to nasty, C/O 1114 8th Avenue S, Fargo, ND 58103. (note: this address obviously will not get you a copy of The Mercy Beat tape.)

Throughout Phil’s scene involvement he has always been a girl toy, bombarded by hoards of prepubescent girls hangin’ out at the mall. nasty, however, was unable to determine if this was because he was in a band or if it was because he was/is a natural stud. nasty decided to investigate, We interviewed as many 0 Phil’s ex-loves and just plain flings to get the poop. We discovered that for some it was the band thing (the prepubescents said that it was because he was older and it made them look cool), while others weren’t sure if he was a natural stud but said there was just something pathetic about him that they couldn’t resist. For those old enough to hang out at Ralph’s, it was the fact that his pool nickname was “The Needle” of which he was not ashamed. Others were mesmerized by his radiant smile that enveloped his magical forked-tongue capable of rendering girls helpless. One particular girl that we interviewed said that to this day she was still shocked by his amazing ability to perform “The Nutcracker” in the nude. For most of the girls it was his child-like whining that made them succumb to his perverted desires.

It is only natural that Andrew and Phil would be friends as Andrew is also a hit with the prepubescent mall grrrls. Andrew was not always the bad ass that he is today. nasty was unable to determine what triggered this metamorphosis, but through our extensive interviews we have been able to formulate a few plausible theories. 1) The intensely erotic encounter where he was seduced in the back seat of a car by an older, evil temptress. 2) Or it could have happened when he moved to chicago and delved into the shadows of nude photography, discovering his fixation with the flesh. 3) Or maybe he just got bored due to the lack of culture he found in the F.M. area and decided to follow Phil’s hot and sexy lifestyle. Of the girls we interviewed most said that it was his two-tone attitude, his good boy past, his mamonthly hairy chest, and his ability to create and unidentifiable accent in the midwest. What entrapped most of the girls was his speech about his mysticism and unpredictability, they also enjoyed watching him play the guitar and sing Neil Young songs.

nasty was a one-off zine by kathi vogel and jill mathias that exposed all the dirt on the men of yahtzeen. this is the cover. more to come.

the third song from the blacklisted’s cassette is spit me out.

the second song from the mercy beat is sex machine. enjoy.

the second song from the blacklisted tape is you can’t feel.

hard life is newer than most of the other stuff i have laying around, but more people will likely be interested in it than the other stuff.

more ram was a paul sanders project that released a single on fargo’s meat records. this track is pulled from the cassette he originally sent to meat records. hard life is the first of eleven tracks i’ll eventually post.

i wonder if all of the meat records stuff is posted somewhere? i better get on that.

shameless self-promotion, the mercy beat were the first band i was in and it’s damn time we were heard! do you think was the first song we recorded over the course of a saturday when we had access to the msu (now msum) recording studio.

the blacklisted were one of moorhead’s first punk bands. religious wasteland is the first song from their never released first recording session.